I dunno about you, but I do know that if I just learn to listen to my inner confident self (when I can find her, that is!) I usually make the right decisions. I find that when I seek too much advice from others, I get more and more confused and end up making decisions based on what others want me to do/see/feel/wear. It means I’m not tuning in to my gut, and when I don’t, I usually end up feeling more insecure.
Read on to see how it works in the world of fashion…or doesn’t…
You just can’t please everyone, of the time. We know that. But ever noticed how hard it is – when shopping – to simply just please yourself? “To buy or not to buy – that is the question”. And when based on the opinions of a) Your partner, b) Your bestie, c) The shop assistant, or d) the random shopper in the fitting room to you, the answer becomes even more elusive!
That’s why, although helpful at times, seeking the opinions of others can make you feel even more confused than ever. Unless they all agree categorically, you will then wonder which person’s advice is the best to heed. That’s why it’s imperative that you arm yourself with tools to minimize the amount of time spent feeling insecure, ugly, daggy – all the things we feel far too often when it comes to our personal style.
No amount of encouragement, advice or compliments from friends will guarantee that you feel good about your selection unless you feel the C word. What am I talking about? Confidence, that’s what! And why? Because, basically all of us lack self-confidence about something at some time. We all have different strengths and weaknesses – we need to learn to highlight our strengths and minimize our weaknesses to take the focus of what we don’t like and shift it to what we do like.
As a Stylist, I like to think that these tools are what I give my clients. Far from just styling tips, I like to aim a little higher. For the C-word! The techniques and suggestions I make will only fall on deaf ears though, if you yourself don’t “feel the love” and like what you see. After all, you are the one who has to wear it. True beauty comes from within. I can help with the packaging but you’ve got to do the work on the contents, and that’s the hardest part.
Above is a perfect example of how seeking the opinions of too many others can just mess with your head further and do little for your confidence. Even if everyone says “you look fabulous” if you’re having a bad hair day, feel fat, or sad, often their compliments or affirmations won’t really be heard. I know myself, I can ask my family “which shoes” but I usually end up choosing the ones which I instinctively know work best for me.
Will we ever stop asking for advice? Hell no! Will we ever have our s**t so together that we’ll just know we’ve nailed the perfect outfit every time? I doubt it! We will always have those low days when we think we look crappy in almost everything we put on and just need some extra assurance. But learning some basic styling techniques (like those I share with you here in my blog!) and understanding who you really are, can go a long way towards helping you find your own signature style. And with that comes CONFIDENCE. Without it, no outfit will ever feel quite right. With it, pretty much everything looks better!