Of Camel Toes and High Waisted Pants (HWP)

High-waisted extra-short denim shorts - with or without camel-toe. Not a good look on anyone...

There. I said it. Camel toe. But the look I’m mainly talking about here is SSHWDS – or super-short high-waisted denim shorts (with or without rips; with or without camel-toe). The most disturbing part of this trend is that it generally comes with a side-serve of arse-cheek hanging out the back.

I’m sure we’ve all seen it – just head to any shopping mall around the country and look for the nearest group of teenagers. It’s one of the scariest looks ever. It’s generally seen on girls ranging from 13 – 18. Most of them travel in packs. Most of them don’t have long-lean super-model bodies (but really, who does?!). The thing is though, to be honest super-models are probably the only body-types who should be consider wearing this look. Most of them are not wearing heels.  Most  team them with sloppy, over-sized tees, or heaven forbid, crop-tops. Some wear them with thongs, others with gladiators, and worse still, others with those hideous black sneakers…

But before I really get going, allow me to give you a glossary of terms and abbreviations:

HWP = High Waisted Pants

CT = Camel Toe.  That unfortunate optical illusion that occurs in a woman’s nether-regions when pants are worn too high and too tight. Think about it. I’m sure you’ll get what I am referring to here.

HWS = High Waisted Shorts

SSHWDS = Super-Short High Waisted Denim Shorts (pictured below):

Step away from the shorts...Here's the offending beast - minus the body.

The pockets are often seen dangling out the front. As I said, arse-cheeks are often seen dangling out the back. Why these young girls think this look works on them is beyond me…

Supporters of high-waisted pants (check out some of the worst ever, below) claim that they

a) Make their legs look longer,

b) hold in their tummy and,

c) avoid muffin-tops.

BUT what fans of high-waisted pants DON’T seem to realise is this:

1.  They shorten your over-all appearance/waist making you look shorter and dumpier, even if you are neither. Think about it. When someone is conversing with you, their eyes are generally on the upper-body – your face, down to the chest/waist at most. If you elongate that section, by default you will appear at least on first impressions, longer and leaner
2. They make your lower half appear by default, well…larger!
3. High-waisted shorts defy point a) (above) because they are chopped off so high on the leg and with so little fabric, you may as well just be wearing your knickers! Unless you’re wearing heels or platforms your legs most definitely don’t look longer. And even then, unless you have super-skinny pins, don’t kid yourself that you are achieving that illusion either!
4. The feature of your whole outfit becomes the pelvic area (or from behind, your butt!). You draw attention to the one body part that we women least like! Note: After many years of styling and client profiling I can categorically prove this is fact. 

If, after all of my ranting here, you really MUST, here’s the WRONG way to wear high-waisted pants:

Mischa Barton not wearing it well. Such a beautiful girl in such a not beautiful outfit!

See how much bigger the lower half appears (of even someone who is so-not big on the lower half, like Katie Holmes) in HWP? Flats also are not recommended with full-legged HWP, no matter how tall you are!

Jessica Simpson in HWP. Not her best look. Also an example of camel toe creeping in here too, for those of you who are unsure of what to look for!

There are a few rules that apply (or at least should apply) when choosing to following this trend:

1. ALWAYS wear heels with HWP (high waisted pants).
2. If the leg is full/flared, wear a fitted top (tucked in).
3. Don’t ever do camel-toe. Ever. That is all.
4. If wearing high-waisted shorts (sniff) by day, elongate the leg with a wedge.
5. If shopping at your local mall in high-waisted shorts by day, do NOT wear stilettos. Ever.  Actually, if shopping by day in any outfit (this doesn’t apply to lunch-hours in the city etc) sky-high heels really don’t fit the ocasion or location (the first rule of thumb for stylish people!).
6. Do not team your HWS (high-waisted-shorts) with a crop-top. Ever. In fact, don’t wear crop-tops with anything. Again…that is all.
7. How do you identify if pants are high-waisted or low-waisted before trying them on? Check out the length of the fly/zipper. The longer the zip, generally the higher the waist (that’s not a rule, just a stylist’s tip I thought I’d throw in as a reward for reading this far!

OK. So I cheated a little. Even though these are considered HWP by the manufacturer, I see them more as mid to low-rise full-legged pants. See how much more flattering when you can see a little of the curve of the waist above the pant & how it lengthens the upper body?

Even though these pants are little OTT in the volume department, see how a belt worn lower on the waist can at least create some balance and lengthen the torso?

OK. So I admit it! Now I am cheating. These are NOT HWP. They are LWP. But see how many inches they shave off the rear-end? That is all.

I hope the tips above have helped in some way. But what do YOU think? Are you a fan of HWP? Don’t be scared…I’ll still speak to you if you are. I promise!!

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Tagged as: high-waisted denim, mischa barton, shorts