The Golden Globes Red Carpet Misses

fey_poehler_golden_globesEveryone seems to have an opinion when it comes to the red carpets at this time of year…so this time I’ve decided to share mine! Here’s my take on this years’ Golden Globes misses. My hits may still follow…

Not all of the names of all of the beauties are mentioned here – sometimes because I wasn’t sure who they actually were, but mainly because this is not meant to be personal attack on anyone’s choices. It’s just a tool to give you a point of reference for what I feel works (or doesn’t) on the red carpet. Read on. You know you want to…

golden_globes_taylor_swift_split_p_2013Taylorswift.jpeg

Is it just me or is Taylor Swift’s face swiftly becoming slightly plastic and somewhat immobile? And what’s going on in the chest-region? Is it just bad photoshopping? I sure hope so! Moreover, Taylor seems to be adopting the Posh Spice pose all too often and seems to have lost the ability to smile.  Taylor’s lips look decidedly trout-like at the ripe old age of what…19? (kidding). But the main thing is she never seems to smile much these days, which is kinda sad, don’t you think? Just sayin’…

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No question. All of these women are Golden Globes stunners – some of the names escape me, sorry – but what’s with the copy-cat Angelina one-legged spread-eagle pose? Enough already?! Yaaawn!

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Aaah! At last another Golden Globes beauty – Leah Michelle – in a thigh-high side-split dress sans the obligatory leg out the side pose, ala Angelina Jolie! So refreshing, I’m dancing with GLEE!

2013-01-15_13-24-20OK, so George looks good in a sack (my sack, I mean any sack) but contrary to what you may think, I haven’t selected this shot because of my celebrity leave-pass! I’ve selected this shot because of the lovely (and very lucky lady) on his arm! What a stunner! What a simply beautiful, understated dress, great hair, great…oh, doesn’t matter. Who’s looking at her anyway? George, my number is 555 0413 686….

2013-01-15_13-23-43I’m not sure of the name of this lovely lady (great hair by the way) but what I wanted to point out here is actually quite “technical” in terms of style appraisals. So please stay with me…

This dress wins/loses and then eventually doesn’t win my vote because:

  1. The fabric is too stiff and thick – this adds inches (although it does conceal lumps/bumps which is often a good thing)
  2. It wins a vote because the sleeve/neckline is extended beyond her shoulders which always balances hips and usually creates an hourglass figure BUT it loses a gong because the dress keeps flaring out at the hemline which in turn makes the lower half look larger and negates the need for the shoulder-balancing sleeves. A little less fabric on the bottom would be far more figure flattering.
  3. It loses a vote because the waist is a little too high which again, in turn, makes the lower half appear larger. A slightly dropped/fitted waist would have balanced proportions better.
  4. No accessories whatsoever, coupled with simple hair and natural makeup makes the colour of this dress look slightly more drabber than it should. A pop of colour/bling/contrast may have given it the sparkle it’s lacking?

2013-01-15_13-23-27OK…she has a STUNNING figure, a gorgeous face, great hair…need I say more? BUT I’m a little bit over the cut-outs and mid-riffs on evening dresses. There I said it! Why? Just a little too 80’s for me, and far less elegant than if the dress had been closed up at the seams, me thinks….

2013-01-15_13-23-06I love Lucy. Don’t we all? But I just don’t love this dress. It reminds me of a doona cover my mum had way back when I was kid. Or even something the Maria would have used to make the Von Trapp kid’s dresses out of in The Sound of Music.  Perhaps it reminds you of Grandma’s drapes? Whatever, it’s just not for me. And not for the red carpet anyway. Coupled  with a long side-plait that looks like the one I wore made out of a black stocking for my Kindergarten school play – The Wedding of the Painted Doll, it just doesn’t scream red-carpet elegance to me. Sorry.

2013-01-15_13-21-32LOVE Halle Berry. LOVE her funky cropped do. But I don’t love the rooster’s comb on the top of her head in this shot. The dress was plenty. Enough said.

2013-01-15_13-21-16Eva Longoria, what were you thinking? Channelling Lady Ga Ga? You are drop-dead gorgeous enough without trying this one on us for extra red-carpet attention. Showing off your Nancy Ganz Pantz on the red-carpet? Really? Was this necessary?

2013-01-15_13-26-50Apologies to all the smaller-chested women out there – because God knows I don’t qualify as well-endowed in that department myself – BUT, this dress is not doing any favours if cleavage enhancement is what she was after!  If you’ve got it flaunt it, yes. (But always tastefully please. No one really liked boobs dished up to them on a plate), But if you don’t got it, then a dress like this is not really going to do you any favours – it only makes the breast area appear more concave instead of  the goal which is to create the illusion of a fuller breast. Style tip: The pleat at the front would work well to conceal a fuller belly – but she clearly doesn’t need to worry about that so it only makes her body disappear even more.

2013-01-15_13-27-15Now we’re talking business! While this ensemble is almost a little too much on the corporate side, it still works. Simple, elegant, understated…. Red carpet-worthy? Some may say no, but I say elegance always rules and she looks quite lovely.

What do you think? Share with me your favourite hits or misses. I’d love to hear from you!

 

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4 Responses to The Golden Globes Red Carpet Misses

  1. As always Alison, I love and agree with your comments totally. Many of theses women – beautiful as they are, just need to see a few photos of the likes of Princess Grace maybe or better still, have you be their stylist!! 🙂

  2. About the only one I loved loved loved was the floral – tho it would have been so much better if it had been calf length – can you tell I am going through a 50s stage LOL – other wise I totally agree with you, beautiful, clever and amazing Al xx

    • I totally agree with you re the length of that floral number Terina! Glad you enjoyed the post…love your work too! Big Al xx

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