One week and three days ago my home was in complete disarray. Plaster dust everywhere as yet another hole was cut in yet another wall of my home. All unbeknown to me until the day it actually occurred! You see, hubby (Shanus Painus, as he’s often affectionately referred to) had done it again! Stolen yet another idea out of yet another Home Beautiful and decided to make it OUR reality! So yet another mother of a window appeared – similar to the mother of a front door (also made of glass) that appeared in my home a few months prior!
“Painus” thinks that as I seem to have all the “say” on style in terms of people, wardrobes, clothes etc he will at least assert himself in his domain of some 30+ years (Interiors/furniture etc) and NOT consult me at all on anything to do with our humble abode! Hmmmph! So what do I do? I bite my tongue (initially) before I then do what all us gals do when our men-folk get things SOOO wrong… gently cajole/coerce him into MY way of thinking by letting him think my next suggestion (read “fix”) is HIS idea!
But I digress (as I often do!)… The point is that just as I had cleaned up all of that plaster dust for the second time this year, today I again found myself in yet another cloud of dust! The sort that just has to settle after your teenage son arrives home after three days away on a TV shoot (with precious few updates/communication except via Facebook, I might add!) only to forget what a HANDBRAKE is for! His own car being in for servicing, he kindly used said husband’s ute to help MY darling friend Karen with a little moving job. BUT as fate would have it, those brakes failed and the ute careened down our steep driveway and wiped out a whole garage door in an instant! Yes! More dust! But this time not plaster dust. Not builders dust. Just the dust under his heels as he ran from the scene of the crime! Result? More dust for us to clean up! A garage in disarray, a ute with panel and screen damage, and a door that no longer exists!
BUT, how STYLISH are we as his loving/long-suffering parents?! Did we yell and scream? NO. Did we jump up and down over something that was clearly “an accident”? NO. See, this time we chose to be play it smart. All the jumping up and down would clearly not fix this one and we all know that fights with teenagers are not something any sane adult would willingly choose! We figured he had already had suffered enough waiting for us to find out/listen to his explanation. Simply waiting on our “wrath” was justice enough! It was more fun confusing him with our patience/kindness/compassion and understanding! Instead, we calmly chuckled between ourselves as we shared the story with a friend over a lunch meeting after receiving the “dob-in” phone call from teenage daughter who, today, I might add, was just delightful to live with! See…it’s times like this that can actually remind us that there are SOME perks to being the parents of two “living at home teenagers” – and watching them “suffer” is one of them!
Do we ALWAYS handle such situations with such STYLE and grace? Hell no! Do we always keep our cool and not let our heads do 360’s as we reiterate (for the 4000th time) the virtues of being polite and respectful to all as we ourselves scream so loudly at them that the veins pop out in our fragile old foreheads and our hair turns more grey with every passing second? GOD NO! But today, on this particular occasion we WILL award ourselves this little victory of our own self-control and respect for others, safe in the knowledge that we have gained some “brownie points” for the next time our Gen Y teens do something that makes our blood boil! We can then say, “Hey! You think we’re tough/mean/unfair? What about the time you destroyed our home/garage? Did we make your life hell then? NO! Well cut us some slack as we now choose to carry on like pork-chops about your lack of respect/dirty room/laziness/rudeness/sense of entitlement/unrealistic expectations/poor work ethic/free-loading etc etc
Sheeez….kids! ….. When will they ever learn?
I love to read the X side. I have a few observations. Permit me please.
1. Absolutely, I agree. If I cook, I clean the dishes. Big long reason why for later. So you should have a rule. You cook, you clean. You cut a big hole in the house, you clean.
2. Absolutely once again, I agree, Painus needs to consult with the Little Woman on all things nest. That includes the twigs, the eggs, even the tree. Big long reason why for later.
3. Disagree on handling of junior. Add passive aggressive to the long list of reasons I’m convinced my parents were raised by wolves and will eat me when I fall asleep.
Actually I don’t disagree. It is better to remain calm in all situations, with everyone, all the time, as much as possible.
Now let me compliment you on another issue. Giving him the keys to the family truckster (ute as you call it) in the first place wins you massive points with me in trust whether he uses it for a good will mission or personal. Autos are a big source of worry for any loved and cherished one. How do we know we do the right things before we do them? We don’t is the answer. But, I believe if we agonize over the decision and our hearts remain steadfast to the good, there is a better than average chance the right decision was made. You had no reason believe he would wreck the truckster and gave him full benefit in advance investing confidence in him (the teen) to handle a mission unsupervised. I bet you’ve heard it (wait let me check my notes) 4000th times, “Mom, I’m not a kid anymore!” You deserve a big hug for trust and patience on that one Mom. Get Dad to give you one as soon as he returns from True Value Hardware. 🙂
Life is full of those moments, isn’t it just! You’re so right when you speak about style being about how you carry yourself through life, who you are and that how you present yourself is a refection of that.
Go girl!