What Are You Like In the Bedroom?

We all have our own style whether we may know it or not. We all choose certain styles of clothing, favour certain colours, communicate in a certain way, and have our own style of coping with pretty much all of what life dishes out.  But last night’s sleep got me to thinking about our Bedroom Styles – so much so, this morning I felt sure I would awaken to a husband who would resemble a piece of Swiss Cheese instead of  a man. Why? Because of the number of times I poked and prodded him to get him to stop moaning, groaning or semi-snoring.

I eventually gave in to my previously tried & true, gentle, subtle but very effective style of coercion…a feather-light touch on the tip of the nose (which makes him think there’s a bug crawling on him!). I vary things a little – last night I discovered a toe-tickle on the back of the butt will also make him jump – quite high in fact! Oh well…I figure a woman’s gotta do what a woman’s gotta do! And desperate, sleep-deprived times call for desperate measures and creative thinking.  Here’s a brief rundown of our individual bedroom styles – what are yours? And if you have any other tips on how I can get him to come around to MY style of sleeping, feel free to share them with me!

Note: The pics below of “Shane on the Bed” were taken in various hotel rooms during our 20th Wedding Anniversary trip to Europe. Clearly at least someone “does bed well”!

ME     ME    ME    ME    ME    ME    ME   ME   ME  ME  ME   ME    ME    ME

A mere "shell" of a woman! This is how they "turn down" the beds in Positano!

Go to bed: LATE – I do my best work just before midnight in this office! Perhaps this blog may be another example of my best work!?

When in bed: I like to read, watch a bit of telly, chat, cuddle, have a back-tickle & head-rub. Then SLEEP.

Fall asleep: Very slowly. It’s hard to turn off such a talented, creative brain you know!

Temp/bedding: Electric blanket on 6 in winter. On my side only. Doona plus 2 comforters. Not much insulation on me – I need all the help I can get!

Sleep: Very lightly (with numerous visits to the loo), very quietly (with the cat on my side. God love ‘er – she’s dying. She can do/have whatever her heart desires!), and very neatly. I could slide out of bed in the morning, put the pillows back on the bed and no one would even know I’d slept there.

Can’t sleep when: I have an early flight in the morning or a Breakfast presentation (I once nearly missed a deadline, having set my iPhone for 4.45pm instead of a.m!)

Wake Up: With great difficulty. Probably because of the rough sleep of the night before.  I am usually awoken prematurely (because hubby can’t sleep in!) but I at least then like to lie in and wake up in my own time – generally watching Sunrise.  I don’t do mornings. I didn’t do Rowing breakfasts or kid’s early morning training runs to school. That hour of the day is for the birds – I am not a bird. These are arms, not wings.

HE   HE   HE    HE    HE   HE    HE   HE HE   HE    HE    HE   HE    HE   HE   HE

Shane on the bed - London

Goes to bed: Usually a little earlier than I do unless there’s a footy game on telly…then he can miraculously find a second wind with ease!

When in bed: Likes (in true-guy style) sex and sleep. In that order. Note to hubby & all other guys reading – in the words of The Rolling Stones – “You cain’t always get what you wa-aan’t”. (Second note: Farts are NOT and never will be a turn-on)

Falls Asleep: Within a millisecond. As soon as the head hits the pillow he assumes the coffin-pose, arms crossed over his chest and the NOISES begin soon thereafter!

Temp/Bedding: Has never plugged in his side of the electric blanket. Whinges about the extra coverings in winter but then why do his feet always find their way over to my/hot side of the bed? (Don’t feel the cold, huh?! Sure!!!)

Shane on the bed again - Paris

Sleeps: NOISILY (and getting noisier) and deeply (unless kids aren’t yet home – then it’s still noisy but one eye open waiting to check that they got in OK) and messily. Doona always half on the floor, fitted sheet always ready to ping-off under the weight, and never makes a bed.

Can’t Sleep when: I’m not there! Why, I ask you?! I reckon it’s because he (again, in the words of the Rolling Stones “Can’t get no-ooo sat-is-faction”! And no, not of the sexual nature either (minds out of the gutter please).  I mean the satisfaction of keeping his long-suffering wife AWAKE all night!

On the bed - Venice

Wakes: Too early for my liking. Stupid man. He actually chooses to get out of a toasty warm bed to go on a weekend bike-ride with mates, or a walk (with, or sometimes cruelly, without the dog).

On the bed again - Dubai

One Response to What Are You Like In the Bedroom?

Leave a reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.